[Sunday, August 10, 2025] Honor Your Father and Mother | Ephesians 6:1-3
Sermon by Rev. Jinkook (Danny) Sohn (Hope of Heaven Baptist Chuch)
2025. 8. 10. 주일예배 설교- 에베소서 강해 20
본문: 에베소서 6:1-3
제목: 네 부모를 공경하라
설교자: 손진국 목사 (하늘소망교회)
We have been talking through Ephesians about the right relationships that must be restored. Last Sunday, we shared about the relationship that should take priority among human relationships — the relationship between husband and wife, that is, the marital relationship. Today, I would like us to share about the relationship between parents and children.
[Verse 1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Children — there is no one among us who is not a child. Every person born into this world is born as someone’s child. This means that everyone has parents. Whether we are 10 years old, 30, 50, or even 100, we are all children who have parents. Ultimately, “children” refers to all of us. God is speaking to all of us today. I bless you that through today’s message, we will understand God’s will toward our parents, obey it, and receive and enjoy the blessings God has promised.
1. Children must obey their parents “in the Lord.”
The text commands in [Verse 1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
The most fundamental reason we must obey our parents is because they are God’s representatives on earth. When we are given life and born, it is first God who gives life. But when God gives life, He does not just give it into the air — He chooses two people on earth and gives life through them. Just as life seems to be conceived through our father and mother, God uses parents as His representatives to give us life.
Also, the text says to obey “in the Lord.” Many people misunderstand this phrase. They think “in the Lord” means to serve only parents who are believers, or only within the church. But “in the Lord” means to obey your parents in the will of the Lord, according to His Word, with faith that serves the Lord, and with the love you have for Him. Therefore, the most important practice of obeying “in the Lord” is working for the salvation of your parents’ souls. Causing your parents to go to hell because they do not believe in Jesus is the worst form of unfilial conduct. Even if you honor them with all the best things in the world, if they go to hell, what use would all the good you have done for them be?
In fact, I myself have been very unfilial to my parents. In my youth, I was rebellious; in my younger years, I left for another country to live as I pleased. After I believed in Jesus and matured, I thought, “Now I should treat them well,” but by then they were already elderly and passed away soon after. I regret and feel sorrow over this, but I am thankful that both of them died believing in Jesus. My older sister prayed a lot, and I, after believing in Jesus in New Zealand, even gave up my life there and returned to Korea to evangelize my parents. Alongside my sister, we endured much scolding, but we prayed, invited a pastor my father disliked to our home for worship, and my father accepted Jesus. In the end, both of them went to heaven. Though I regret not honoring them more while they were alive, I have the hope that “I will see them in heaven one day.”
I know someone who is the eldest son, and his mother considers him the most precious among her five children. For many parents, the eldest son is the best. He was indeed a devoted son who treated his mother well. However, because his mother would not believe in Jesus no matter what he said, he made a shocking declaration before leaving for the military: “Mother, if you do not believe in Jesus, I will not return alive from the army.” Shocked by her beloved first son’s words, she went to church and believed in Jesus. She listened to the Word diligently, prayed much, received the gifts of casting out demons and healing the sick, and was sent by her pastor to other churches to share her testimony and was greatly used by God. Even now, over the age of 91 and with difficulty moving, she continues her prayer ministry. That eldest son is now an elder — and is my wife’s eldest brother.
Do your parents not believe in Jesus? I believe the easiest people to evangelize are your own parents. Why? Because most parents would give their lives for their children. They love their children more than themselves. As the saying goes, “No parent can win against their child.” Are you afraid of hurting their feelings and therefore remain silent? Do you just wish for them to live comfortably here and pass away? If you hesitate, they may end up in eternal hell. In hell, they will resent the truly unfilial child who never evangelized them.
[Application] If you have parents who do not yet believe in Jesus, what will you do for their salvation? For believing parents, what obedience will you practice today?
2. Honoring parents is “the first commandment with a promise.”
The Bible commands not only obedience but also honoring parents, and this comes with an amazing promise.
[Verses 2-3] “Honor your father and mother” — which is the first commandment with a promise — “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Among the Ten Commandments God gave to Moses, Commandments 1–4 concern serving God, while Commandments 5–10 concern relationships with people. The very first commandment in the section on human relationships is the fifth: “Honor your father and mother.” It is the first commandment regarding human relationships, and the only one with God’s promise attached.
What is that promise? It is, “That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Do you want to be blessed and live long on this earth? Life is in God’s control. A person in their 50s who has the health of someone in their 20s due to excellent health management could still die suddenly in a car accident. Our lives are not preserved by ourselves; they are under God’s sovereignty. And the Lord of life has promised: If you honor your parents, you will do well and live long on the earth.
This commandment has no conditions. It does not say, “Obey your parents” or “Honor your father and mother” only if they treat you well, love you, or sacrifice for you. Many people are estranged from their parents and live without contact, saying their parents harmed them greatly or made their lives miserable. But this commandment is God’s order to be kept regardless of our feelings or our parents’ state.
Here is a true testimony from a pastor. This pastor grew up under violence and neglect from his father. His father often beat his mother while drunk, hit the children, and took no responsibility for the family. Eventually, the mother became bedridden, and the children scattered to survive on their own.
As a young man, the pastor began attending church, and through the gospel, his life was changed. Meeting God as his Father, he began to let go of the anger and wounds buried deep inside toward his earthly father. Decades later, he heard that his father was alone in a nursing home and had developed dementia.
His siblings all said, “Is that man our father? To me, he’s already dead. Why should we take care of him?” But the pastor quietly went to visit him. There sat a haggard old man, vacant and unrecognizing. The pastor took his father’s hand, bowed his head, and prayed:
“God, it was not my will but Yours to give me this man as my father. I forgive him. And for the rest of his days, I will care for him.”
From that day, he paid for his father’s medical and nursing care and served him faithfully. Near the end of his life, the father wept, held his son’s hand tightly, and whispered, “I’m sorry… and thank you…”
The pastor says, “The Bible says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ not ‘Honor them if…’ The grace we have received is greater than the wounds we have received.”
Yes, we must remember that parents deserve honor from their children in all circumstances. God treats with utmost seriousness those who treat parents with contempt.
[Exodus 21:15] Anyone who attacks their father or mother is to be put to death.
[Deuteronomy 27:16] “Cursed is anyone who dishonors their father or mother.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”
May you all be believers who obey this first commandment with a promise and enjoy its blessings.
[Application] Have there been times when your emotions or your parents’ flaws made it difficult for you to keep the command to “honor” them? How will you resolve any strained relationship with your parents?
3. Honoring Parents Is “Practiced in Daily Life”
Then how can we practically honor our parents in our daily lives? [Proverbs 23:25] May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful! The core of honoring parents is to make them joyful and glad. It is not about doing what I think is good for them, but first understanding their hearts.
There was a young man in a village. His friends told him, “These days, people say you’re a good person if you’re filial to your parents,” and that treating his parents well would even help his career. So he changed his mindset and began searching the internet and books to learn “ways to look like a filial son.”
In the morning, he greeted his parents without fail, cleaned their room, and in the evening, made sure to prepare meals — all in front of his siblings to see. But strangely, his parents did not seem happy. After a few days, his mother said:
“My son, you’re trying to treat me well, but I’m not happy. You used to look me in the eyes and talk with me, but now you hardly even look at my face. You always act like you’re just doing some ‘task,’ and that makes me feel rather sad.”
Only then did the young man realize that he had been honoring his parents not for their sake, but for his own. From that day on, instead of following a checklist of actions, he began listening to what his mother truly wanted to say, spending time talking with her, and sometimes just sitting by her side without doing anything.
Not long after, his mother told her acquaintances with a bright face, “These days my son listens to me and shares his heart with me. That makes me truly happy.”
Honoring parents was not about a certain action or method. What mattered was a heart that truly understood, cared for, and desired to make one’s parents happy.
Honoring is different from pitying. [Proverbs 23:22] Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Thinking that parents are beneath oneself leads to shouting at them or being irritable with them. One of the most prominent attitudes of despising parents is ignoring them. Sometimes you hear parents say, “My child never replies when I talk to them,” or “It’s been a month since I sent a message, but still no response.” Their words are filled with hurt. Ignoring parents often shows up in the form of not replying. Do not despise your parents, do not simply pity or feel compassion for them, but respect and honor them.
Here is the story of a certain deaconess. Her father was over 90 years old and suffering from severe dementia, unable to recognize most of his family. He would sit or lie down all day without speaking, sometimes getting angry and shouting. One day, the deaconess remembered a puppet show she had seen during the church’s preschool worship.
“What if I performed a puppet show for my father? Would he react?”
From that day, after work, she would spend time making a small puppet, put it on her hand, and act in front of her father. When she said in a puppet voice, “Hello, Grandpa~,” at first there was no reaction. But one day, her father showed a faint smile. From then on, every evening she visited him with the puppet, joking playfully, singing hymns, and chatting.
To others, it was certainly “not something a woman in her 60s would do.” But the deaconess said:
“Even if my father doesn’t remember anyone now, I think somewhere in his heart, his ‘daughter’ is still there. Just as my father used to make me laugh when I was little, now it’s my turn to make him laugh.”
Her willingness to humble herself and play before her father was an expression of honoring parents — giving joy to them as their child, even though the body has aged.
In the same way, remember that no matter how small, if it is done with the heart to understand your parents and bring them joy, it can be great filial piety. And put it into practice.
[Application] Do I see my parents as objects of pity or sympathy rather than as people to be honored? What is one thing I can do this week to bring joy and gladness to my parents’ hearts? (e.g., call them, send a caring message, buy them food they like, etc.)
To summarize the message: Through today’s passage, let us once again remember the grace of our parents who gave us life, and in obedience to God’s Word, honor them and bring joy to their hearts. May all believers enjoy the blessings of prosperity and long life that God has promised, starting here on earth, in the name of the Lord.
하늘소망교회(담임 손진국 목사)는 뉴질랜드 오클랜드 북부 실버데일에 세워진 한인교회로 '하나님의 마음으로 사람을 살리는 교회'입니다.
Hope of Heaven Baptist Church (Senior Pastor: Rev. Jinkook Sohn) is a Korean church established in Silverdale, Auckland, New Zealand. It is a church that saves people with the heart of God.