[Sunday, August 17, 2025] Raise Your Children in the Training and Instruction of the Lord | Ephesians 6:4
Sermon by Rev. Jinkook (Danny) Sohn (Hope of Heaven Baptist Chuch)
2025. 8. 17. 주일예배 설교- 에베소서 강해 21
본문: 에베소서 6:4
제목: 주의 교훈과 훈계로 양육하라
설교자: 손진국 목사 (하늘소망교회)
We live in a time when raising children is becoming increasingly complex and challenging. Information is abundant, and educational methods are diverse, yet it is not common to see a child’s character and soul fully established. Many parents live with the question, “How can I raise my child well?” In Ephesians 6:4, the Apostle Paul presents a concise yet essential principle for raising children.
[Verse 4] Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
This verse was revolutionary in Roman society at the time. Back then, fathers had the legal right to treat their children however they wished, even having authority over their very life and death. Yet Paul, along with the command “Do not exasperate your children,” presents God’s way: “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This is a spiritual principle still valid today.
Through today’s message, we will share three principles and learn how, as parents, we can raise our children in the Lord’s way.
1. Do Not Exasperate Your Children
— Parenting with Respect and Love
The first thing Paul emphasizes is what not to do. To exasperate children is not simply to make them angry, but to continually disregard them (“What do you know?”), to excessively interfere (“You must do this” — like in SKY Castle), to unfairly compare them (“Look at your friend”), or to repeatedly criticize them for not meeting expectations (“Is this all you can do?”). Such attitudes close a child’s heart and distance them from their parents.
Scripture also emphasizes this same principle in Colossians 3:21. [Colossians 3:21] Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. It is not God’s will for a child to be discouraged because of their parents.
U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, though wounded by his relationship with his father during childhood, allowed that experience to change how he treated his own children. Even as president, he valued spending time with them, often writing letters to express encouragement and love. Lincoln believed that “children need encouragement more than criticism,” convinced that respect and love open a child’s heart.
Psychologist Haim Ginott once said, “The way parents talk to their children every day shapes their children’s self-image.”
This shows that the tone and attitude with which parents treat their children are crucial factors in shaping their self-esteem.
When we respect our children, parental authority becomes a joy to them, and peace settles in the home. On the other hand, when respect is lacking, authority is received with fear and resentment.
[Application] As a parent, have you had experiences where you unnecessarily hurt your child’s heart? Have you seen how words of respect and love have changed your child’s attitude and response?
2. Teach Them the Instruction of the Lord
— Scripture-Centered Education
The “instruction of the Lord” means teaching based on God’s Word and the principles of the gospel. This is not mere moral education but helping a child see the world from God’s perspective. Today’s world is filled with humanism, materialism, and hedonism. For a child to keep their faith and establish right values in such a world, parents must intentionally plant the Word in them.
In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, God commands this: [Deuteronomy 6:6–7] These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Teaching the Word should not be a special, isolated event but a natural part of daily life.
Evangelist D.L. Moody once said, “Parents who do not teach the Bible are like erasing the roads from their children’s life map.”
The Bible is the map that shows children where to go and how to live.
When parents themselves love and obey the Word, children naturally learn faith by watching them.
[Application] What is one area in which I can first show a life that lives according to the Word? Why might teaching the Word to children feel difficult? Do you have a good method or experience for consistently sharing Scripture at home?
3. Raise Them in the Training of the Lord
— Training Through Daily Life
“Training” is not simply discipline but the continuous guidance and habit formation that help children live out God’s Word in daily life. This includes teaching, modeling, and at times, loving correction.
Hebrews 12:11 says: [Hebrews 12:11] No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Proper training may feel difficult in the short term, but in the long run, it bears the fruit of righteousness and peace.
A young boy once overheard his mother praying on her knees. She prayed, “Lord, if this child should ever reject You, remember my prayer and shake his soul so that he may return to You.” That scene was deeply imprinted in the boy’s heart. From a young age, he lived with the habit of kneeling to pray, just as his mother did, and in every matter of life he remembered her prayer. In the end, he became a great servant of God. This is the story of Charles Spurgeon, the British Baptist preacher who was called “the most influential and gifted preacher since the apostolic age.”
Dear believers, if we truly love our children, we must teach them how to maintain a close relationship with God and instill in them holy spiritual habits. It is best to teach good habits early.
These days, many parents raise their children in the opposite way. When the children are young, because they are so adorable, the parents indulge them, trying to give them everything they want and failing to teach them what is wrong. Then, when the children grow older and begin to disobey, the parents suddenly try to discipline and teach them. But by then, the children’s sense of self has already grown, and they no longer listen to their parents. At that point, the parents lament, saying, “How could you treat me like this after all I’ve done for you?” and they grieve deeply. It should be the other way around. When children are young, parents must correct what is wrong—even if it requires stern discipline—so that they are taught properly. Then, as they grow older, parents should allow them to make their own decisions and respect those decisions.
When my children were young, I used to discipline them by striking their palms with a ruler. But now, I no longer do that. Is it because they always listen to me and walk in the right path? No. There are still times when they disobey and do whatever they please. Yet rather than scolding them, I now choose to gently correct them while praying for them. If they still refuse to listen, there is nothing more I can do. However, I believe this: because they have learned and known God’s Word from a young age, they will eventually return to the Word of the Lord and obey it.
Are there some among you thinking, “Then it’s already too late for our children”? No, it is not. Do not give up if you feel late—start now. And for that to happen, we as parents must start now. Our everyday spiritual habits and example are the most powerful training we can give our children.
[Application] Have you experienced your example as a parent bringing positive change in your child’s life? What new spiritual habit would you like to establish with your child?
Ephesians 6:4 presents both what parents should not do and what they must do. Not exasperating our children, while raising them with the Word and training of the Lord, is by no means an easy task. Yet, when we rely on God’s grace and build our children through Scripture and prayer, they will grow to become workers for the next generation in God’s kingdom.
May our homes be built upon the Word and love, raising children who will be light and salt in this world. May every household here today be such a blessed home.
하늘소망교회(담임 손진국 목사)는 뉴질랜드 오클랜드 북부 실버데일에 세워진 한인교회로 '하나님의 마음으로 사람을 살리는 교회'입니다.
Hope of Heaven Baptist Church (Senior Pastor: Rev. Jinkook Sohn) is a Korean church established in Silverdale, Auckland, New Zealand. It is a church that saves people with the heart of God.